A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.
14, 17, 21
Sometimes you have to put aside how you feel about a person and objectively look at how their actions show how they feel about *you.*
16
Sometimes we outgrow relationships. It’s no one’s fault. It’s okay to move on. You’ve grown…Don’t abandon your healthier self for a relationship.
14, 16,
Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)
14-21
Other peoples’ expectations are the guard rails on the road. They keep you safe and guide you he way - literally. They keep you from driving off a cliff. So if you want to be safe, and if you do that’s great, stay within the guardrails. But if you want to fly, you’re gonna have to run right over them.
18, 21
A useful opening line in a conversation (personal, parenting or professional) is “What should I know about ...”. It shows you understand you have something to learn, and it makes people feel valued. “What should I know about what’s going on at football practice?”
14
Here’s one definition of a saint: Someone who isn’t a jerk, doesn’t complain or whine when they’re sick or in pain.
15, 19
When it comes to clothes and makeup, women have one dress code: whatever the f*ck they want. Hijab or bikini, it’s not women’s job to appeal to men. It’s not women’s job to keep men’s appetites subdued.
14, 17, 21
Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.
19
Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21
The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )
1, 13, 19
Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!
5-15, 18, 21
Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.
11-13
Your life is way bigger than one relationship. Or one grade, or one job, or one choice, or one event, or one gift. Make room for all of it even when some of it will most certainly hurt.
17
Recipe for happiness that stands the test of time: Be who you are, and figure out how you are uniquely equipped to serve.
15, 21
“Vulnerability is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen.” -Brene Brown Be vulnerable, that’s where the good stuff lies.
18
Super good-looking people often don’t develop good people skills because they’ve been able to get by on their looks. Listen! Beauty fades. Get curious about people who don’t necessarily catch your eye right away.
16, 19, 21